Once More

Once more.

Out of our houses

Onto the street

Into cafes bars and shops

Something has passed

Something lost

Something found

The introspection 

Unbearable

Ubiquitous 

Unavoidable 

The tasks we set ourselves

To occupy our time

The books we read

The games we played

The sunrises and sets

Seen

To remind us that 

Awe and wonder

Still exist

We have come out once more

To the rattle of trams

To the smiles of others

Something has passed

Something lost

Something found

We know

We will run to ground 

Again

Have to shut our doors

And watch the viral shadow 

Loom 

Large

Luminous 

Something has passed

Something lost

Something found

The plans we made

The people we miss

The space beneath our feet

Something has passed

Something lost

Something found.

Then

Tousled black curls

You don’t know how good 

They look

The lustre not yet faded

The swell of your belly

Fecund in its prime 

You don’t know 

Yet

It will swell 

Again 

Years later

You don’t know 

Those lips that have kissed

Will 

Want beyond imagining 

Years later 

In a silent room

You don’t know 

That in time

The swell

The curl

The lips

Will loose 

Their shine

Then in a blaze of sunrise reds and orange 

It dawns 

On you 

That you should have

Could have

Would have

Loved yourself more

In those moments 

Because now

The curls fuzz

In shades of grey

The belly balloons 

In menopausal revoltk

And lips that have kissed

Seek forever more

What they can not 

Have

Find

Desire

You do not

Can not 

Know

As you walk along 

The quiet street

Your black 

Hair tousled in 

Wondrous curls

Your belly 

Swelling

With life

You do not 

Can not

Imagine 

Then 

How much more 

You should have 

Loved yourself

From the moment

You pushed your way 

Out of 

Her

Into the world 

You should have loved yourself 

From that moment

Then. 

Looking Back On It Now

 Looking back on it now 

It's startling how love can take a vice like grip on you...

Love sick

Love lorn

Love 

Is

The 

Drug

I lost my mind

Nearly jumped in front of a train

Drove through back streets 

Wanting to crash the car 

Just to feel something other than longing

Spent time

Wasted time

Wanting him

His intellect 

His gaze upon me

His desire for me 

Looking back on it now

In the coolness of a winters  evening 

I see myself 

As he saw me

There are people who come into your life 

Arrive 

Like a hurricane

And I'm so pleased

I got a category five.

I see myself now 

as he did then

The parts of the city 

We inhabited

I became myself 

I became 

Love ..