ZOOMBA© MOVE JUST ADDED

ZOOMBA© 
Like ZUMBA but at a socially acceptable distance!

Continues to be a more popular topic of conversation than Google Hangouts - just saying.

ZOOMBA© Move Just Added

ZOOMBA© IN ISOLATION cha cha cha 

A 10 to 15 minute workout that can be done at the kitchen bench or on the couch by tightening the pelvic floor area and staring middle distance. 

ZOOMBA© IN ISOLATION salsa

A 10 to 15 minute workout that can be done at the kitchen bench or on the couch. This move requires corn chips. 

Do try this at home.

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ZOOMBA©

ZOOMBA©
Like ZUMBA
But at a socially acceptable distance !

ZOOMBA© is a fully integrated system using a unique combination of technology and movement to create pretty much the most awesome workout ever.

ZOOMBA© has been used within business and academic circles for many years but in the wake of the Coronavirus people from all walks of life are embracing the engineered & optimised system to work reliably across webinars, conferences and home schooling.

Once you try it you wont be able to stop so let's do this 

ZOOMBA© BA !

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ZOOMBA© MOVES

FOR THE GENERAL PUBLIC 

• ZOOMBA©  A wide movement which includes fingers and eyes working in sync to connect with others.
• ZOOMBA ZOOMBA© For when you want to look professional even in your pyjamas. 
• ZOOMBINI© For those attempting to home school kids.

• ZOOMBA SEMTAO© Is a chair workout that focuses on using body weight to strengthen and tone the mind to combat the tsunami of coronavirus information, news and updates.

• ZOOMBA© ZOMBIE -For those that have no idea how to use ZOOMBA© and end up being the only person in the ZOOMBA© room.

• ZOOMBA PLATE©  For those that have gained weight from eating their way through these turbulent and unfathomable times. 

FOR BUSINESSES

ZOOMBA© PRO Work from home but meet like a pro - this hour long work out is for  people who just love to meet and incorporates weights to build muscles in the arms, legs, and glutes.

ZOOMBA© COMMUTE - Step and lunge from the bed to your at home boardroom. Workout gear a must and then a quick change of clothes to be ready for ZOOMBATIME© with your colleagues.

ZOOMBA-LIKE-A-BOSS© An intense 20 minute workout that gets you ready to lead your multi million dollar empire from the comfort of your own home- be prepared to sweat!

FOR ACADEMICS and STUDENTS

• ZOOMBA IN THE CIRCUIT© Combines cardio work and deep breathing exercises for those academics that are used to presenting papers at international conferences.

• ZOOMBA GOLD© For post doctoral fellows - includes unique moves and combinations that allow the ZOOMBA GOLD© participants to dance away their worries and research at the same time.  

• ZOOMBA TONING© For academics intending to get an article published in a peer reviewed journal.These classes usually last 30 minutes and feature strength exercises on various stations in timed intervals

• AQUA ZOOMBA© Classes are held in bodies of liquid - like endless cups of tea and bottles of single malt.

• ZOOMBA SUPERVISION© (for post graduates) A combination movement that involves smiling and nodding with a submit soon option.

ZOOMBA© TUNE

For Businesses 
Use the melody of Don't Stand So Close To Me & insert key words like accounts, ask H.R and KPI's as lyrics.

For Academics
Use the melody of Don't Stand So Close To Me & insert key words from your area of research as lyrics - suggestions include:

Intersectionality

Hegemony

and

Of course discourse.

For the general public

Use the melody of Don't Stand So Close To Me and insert expletives as required, words of encouragement to your home schooled children or endearments to your loved ones near and far.

Keep moving groovers ZOOMBA© is here to say.

ZOOMBA© is an exercise regime created by Melbourne Academic, Writer and Comedian Justine Sless in 2020.
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If by the age of four...

I used to crack this joke:


'If by the age of four your child has not had head-lice,

then they aren't getting out of the house often enough...'



My child sat up on a stool

A towel draped over their shoulders

I dragged a fine tooth comb through their conditioner lathered hair

We'd watch an episode or two of Modern Families throughout the de-infestation process.



A week or two later we would do the whole thing over again.



It's a proximity thing

All of those lice

Sauntering from head to head 

Because they could.



Head Lice Infestation Nostalgia 

Seriously that's a thing now.

All we have is now

All we have is now

The certainty that the sun will rise and the sun will set

My friend Bron says via text
'history and nature are both demanding our attention.'

The beauty of the rows of freshly baked goods at The Village Baker.

Turning my gaze away from the emptied supermarket shelves.

The flights are all cancelled - not going 'home to see my mum now'

-but we pledge to  sit at opposite ends of the earth - drink  a cup of tea 'together' and talk - every day.

The cicadas 

The birds - always the birds-

The insects buzz

The trees grow

Why wont Scott Morrison send the children home?

Borders are closed - just like that bookstore that failed

In that case it was Borders is closed

The canals are cleaner in Venice

 I cut up a chicken for stock -(as a jew the certainty of a good tasting broth matters) I cut up the chicken - it was small and expensive- bought from the a near empty butchers shop - it had no rib cage -

The memories of all those times, in bars, on planes, in foreign cities, piazzas, markets, cheeses and beers in Amsterdam.

The traffic still goes by

The light creeps across the balcony - over the seedlings in pots of my mothers favourite flowers - they will take three months to grow - 

But

All 

We

Have

Is 

Now...