20 November 2025
Dear Diary,
I wake up most mornings wondering if my relationship to money is making me ill?
I wake up anxious that I have no savings...
Today I went to a branch a bank to put some cash in - the person at the counter asked me how I was and if I'd like to chat sometime about my finances.
I nearly cried.
I rarely go into branches..
I rarely chat with anyone about money..
Rarely chat to the person in a shop as I fumble over coins or notes
Just tap my card.. gather my items and leave
I try to to save, then another bill comes in or a creative endeavour arrives that I am compelled to pursue. The latest one is registering for comedy festival. $500 to register + venue + marketing + box office + front of house costs + payment for a producer etc etc .. + the time to write the show and get bums on seats in a very busy market.
I have poured thousands of dollars into creative endeavours over the years. The book coming out next year took ten years to write, I've spent thousands on editors, millions of hours on it when perhaps I shouldn't have.. but it is done and I wouldn't trade the changes that happened to me on a deep cellular level for anything.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
SELF WORTH =
CREATIVE PROJECTS
CREATIVE WORTH =
FINANCIAL COMMITMENT =
LATE STAGE CAPITALISM STILL ISN'T PAYING CREATIVE ENDEAVOURS
Something like that
