Saturday, September 2, 2017

Excuse me there are crumbs in my academic referencing

So I've held a mic for a few years now.
Got heckled by my own kids.
Been in a few comedy festivals.
You know the drill:
Pay some money to register.
Think of show title.
Find venue.
Promote show.
Write show.
Perform the show.
Persuade friends and strangers that your angst is their angst just funnier.
Not won any awards at festivals.
Not had a stellar trajectory to commercial success.
Not lost money, but not made lots of money either.
Created my own festival because I don't like how many festivals are run.
Done many, many, many gigs in bars at conferences, events allover the place, in church halls and synagogues - I'm not fussy, book me I'm yours.
Did a comedy tour to Amsterdam, Krakow(don't ask) Israel and UK.
Swore so many times that I would NEVER go back to a comedy room EVER.
Because I always feel violated in those spaces where the 'humour' and attitudes go unchecked.
But like a sad suck I do occasionally go back there, because gawd knows I want to try out some new material on a stage in front of an audience...

And now my trail of comedy crumbs has led me into the hallowed halls of a university.
Where I can scatter my comedy crumbs all over a thesis and creative piece of writing.

Writing about gender and comedy.
Creative piece set in North East England 1976  about a woman who wants to do stand up comedy in the era of the legendary Bobby Thompson.

If you'd like to tell me about your experiences of doing stand up comedy.
I'd love to hear them...
How to quote a joke 

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Excuse me it's time to follow the trail of crumbs

More musings on other sites:

Red Light District (2017)
Scored a gig at the Comedy Club in Amsterdam.I am on my own in the city. It’s a buzz. I have never been on my own before, no really, never.

Funny Women Down Under (2015)
My kids hate watching comedy on TV with me, especially shows like Live at the Apollo or highlights from Montreal or Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Cultural Capital - a call to arms (2017)
This is a call to arms inspired by Alex Fein’s recent JWOW article ‘Exile Never Felt So Good.’  I was glad to see someone had written about how hard it is to do this thing: to add to the Jewish cultural landscape... READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

J is for Jigsaw(2016)

I grew up in the working class town of Sunderland, North East England. It is a cold harsh place, filled with closed coal mines  discontinued steel works, a defunct ship building industry, heavy drinkers and aggressive soccer fans. At school there were kids who burnt down classrooms and bullied others relentlessly ...READ FULL ARTICLE HERE
Inner City Jew(2016)
I am a fabled Jew of the North, of the red lipstick wearing, Radio National quoting, back yard chook owner variety. I am conversant in acronyms, grant writing idioms and the bureau speak of the not for profit sector from my day job and I can wax lyrical for hours about the perils, pleasures and pitfalls of doing stand up comedy, but the language of orthodoxy sometimes leaves me flummoxed... READ FULL ARTICLE HERE

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Excuse me there are crumbs on my holiday photographs

As the crows flies:
Melbourne - Amsterdam 16,435km
Amsterdam - Krakow 1,219 kms
Krakow Heathrow 1,438km
Heathrow Tel Aviv 4,950 kms
Tel Aviv Newcastle 5,296kms

Amsterdam 20 June - 26 June 
Jewish quarter
A city built for bikes
Gig in a bar 
Rode at night and came upon a windmill, thought it was a darlek.
Small hotel - friendly staff
Anne Frank house so many people waiting to go in and look - where were they all 1939 -1945?
Dope smoke everywhere - made me panic
Everyone so polite and friendly 
Great markets
Went to more supermarkets than museums
Watched : Punchline, Trainspotters 2.
Read Shrill Lindy West

Amsterdam canal - near Anne Frank House 

26- 30  June The drive in was grim.
The Jewish quarter was nice
Food truck parks everywhere
The festival had great posters and promotion
Gig in old part of krakow in a bar was great
They worked hard to get an audience
Paid 300 zlotys!
Festival gig tough crowd
Visited Auschwitz - the scale of it - the sheer bloody scale of it - the rooms full of hair, shoes and spectacles
9,000 people go there every day
Hotel very spacious
Beers amazing
Food good and very cheap
Festival was an earnest crowd -
Sam and Gina Rosenberg from Melbourne
Holocaust over load - so much reflection and tourism related activities
Jewish Cultural Festival Krakow

Israel 1 - 9 July
Met by cousin and Aunt at Airport - big smiles all round
Hotel in Jerusalem 3 Arches 
Visited the Old Town which leads onto the Wailing Wall
Went to the men's bit instead of the women's bit - oops
Soon got ushered out
Masada the house the Herrod built 
The dead sea sinking fast 
It's not easy to navigate if you don't speak Hebrew
The market vast and so much halva..
Got kicked out of a taxi and a bus ..
Tel Aviv
Israel Museum
Family - 
Family trees sitting next to cousins for the first time - the holocaust then and now changing the landscape for Jews everywhere

The state of Israel exists as a safe guard agains the holocaust
The country is only 78 years old 
But has achieved so much
It is a city built on sand - can it survive?

Peering over the precipice of the replica of the wagon that took people to Birkenau.
Never again the whole of Yad Vashem in its architectural grandeur screams
Never ever again

What matters now is never again any where ..
Never again for humanity ..

Tel aviv - used materials that were incompatible with the climate.
Steel and sandstone grate
So the city is being rebuilt and patched up 
 Shabby chique - is the look

Family in Tel Aviv
Walking to Jaffa
A city being built 
The west bank
Palestine Arab Settlements
The bus to Tel Aviv

West Bank warnings on DEFAT websites -
But I never felt unsafe.

Masada - the house that Herod built

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Excuse me there are crumbs on my travel map

Traveling on my own 
I look up from my book
And there is no one to ignore.

Travelling on my own
There is no one to get lost with 
And yet there is everything to find.

Excuse me there are crumbs on board this trip

You had me
At Central Station.

Bike through the city
A city made for bicycle destinations

Jewish Quarters
And house loads
Visting Anne Frank.

Tulips as tchotchkes
Cheese and beers on tap
Dope smoke in clouds
Avoided inhalation.

A gig in a bar
Anti Semitism and sexism
Travel through comedy rooms
Near and far.

Amsterdam to Krakow
A festival of Jews
Despite and inspite of history.

Gig in a bar
All the way to the punchline.

Auschwitz and Birkenau
9,000 visitors every day
No words to describe.

Make Humus not War
Said a café to the diner
Drink beer and some more
Said the diner to the cafe.

Krakow to Tel Aviv
A quick stop in Heathrow
Daughter and sister 
Swing by just to say hello.

Tel Aviv 
Hotel a YMCA 
Built by a Mench.

Walk to the Old Town
Leading all the way to the wall
We weep and we wail
And then we weep even more.

For the past is always there
Israel in a state
78 years young
Ancient in its repose.

A family tree connects
Post war Jews in Jerusalem
Cousins connect at dinner
Eat, smile, then weep
For what could have been.

Masada the house that Herod Built
A cliff top retreat
Resplendent in its power
Defenceless in its splendour.

The Dead Sea 
Is dying
The splash of death crashes to the shore

Another gig in bar
Not many giggles to be had
Maybe next year in Jerusalem
The jokes will take flight.

More cousins and an aunt
A fleeting moment in Jerusalem 
A life time in the heart.

For Israel to exist
There is pain 
Despite the fact that
Yad Vashem screams
Never, ever, ever again.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

The Domestic Engineer has just left the building - crumbs!

The domestic engineer has left the building 

School shoes have gone AWOL.
Homework tasks vanished 
The heating has been left on
And on and on and on.

The cat pissed on the rug
The door was shut all night.
There's a drought in the dog’s water bowl 
And a walk seems quite unlikely.

Dishes are not done.
Tumbleweeds of dust
Take up residence inside
With out paying any rent.

Skulking mounds of washing
Shirk in some unusual places.
Surfaces begin to slump
Under the weight of all the crumbs.

No interest is paid
To the incidentals of the day.
Footy matches missed
Training pushed aside.

The toothpaste has runout.
Bills remain unpaid.
The domestic engineer
Has left the building.

And no-one else has made the grade.